Orwell managed to embed Room 101 in our collective psyche. His creation lives on in TV programs, books, and of course in blogs.
For those who haven’t read 1984, please do! Also for you, a quick explanation. Room 101 is the room where people are taken for “re-education” when they have strayed from the loving embrace of Big Brother but are deemed save-able. This is done through fear. I won’t say any more as it would somewhat spoil the story for those that haven’t read it. I mean it though, please go and read it, it’s a short but amazing book.
So the subject of today’s 365 post is “You’re locked in a room with your greatest fear. Describe what’s in the room”
There are a few answers to this. There are a few things that I am fearful of. Not many of them are physical though.
1. I am afraid of betrayal. My self confidence isn’t too bad at the moment, but in my lower moments one of my biggest fears is that I am not good enough for my partner and they will go somewhere else. I know that this is in no way founded in fact but fears are often irrational.
2. I am terrified of heights. This one comes with a proviso though. As a child I was always climbing trees. I was lucky enough to grow up in Germany where there are lots of forests and I took full advantage of them. I have never felt afraid when up a tree, but put me in a tall building and I imagine I can feel it swaying and I daren’t look out of the window.
3. I am afraid of being found out. This one is 100% a product of depression. I am constantly feeling like I am not good enough to do my job, and people just haven’t realised yet.
The one fear that I can say I could be locked in a room with is a paralysing fear of Daddy Long Legs, whose proper name is a Crane Fly.
This completely irrational fear comes from when I was being bullied in Primary school (So about 7 years old). I was pushed into a ‘phone box which was filled with hundreds of them and the door was held shut. I still had nightmares about it up to being in my mid teens and I still can’t bear to be in a room with one unless I can see it at all times and avoid it.
So there we are, some fears exposed 🙂 I am really liking this 365 days idea, I don’t think there is any way that I would have said what I have without those prompts. I hope you are enjoying them too?
Living Life Positively 
“3. I am afraid of being found out.”
For me, this is related to my life-long fear of rejection. I’ve done some work to get over this fear (somewhat) and I resist acting on it when I do feel it, but I still always worry that people will see me FOR ME, and decide I am too unlike them and reject me. I find myself holding back a good chunk of who I am inside with most people, for fear of them being turned off by our differences I think I’m almost always afraid I’ll show too much of myself and the whole of who I am will be figured/found out.
You’re in a roll with your blogging. I’m going to try to get back to it sooner rather than later. I’ve made some lifestyle changes and I need to figure out how best to adapt my blogging and online work to them… I gave away almost everything I own, gave notice at my flat, and left town with not much more than I could fit my backpack… The joys of manic decision making.
Wow! I hope that your move is working out for you?
I am getting back into the swing of blogging and writing in general, slowly but surely. I obviously have completely blown the post-a-day thing but I still have the list and will use them as example headings for posts in te future.
I have started writing poetry again and hope to share some here soon.
Thank you for your continued support my friend.