For those who haven’t read 1984, please do! Also for you, a quick explanation. Room 101 is the room where people are taken for “re-education” when they have strayed from the loving embrace of Big Brother but are deemed save-able. This is done through fear. I won’t say any more as it would somewhat spoil the story for those that haven’t read it. I mean it though, please go and read it, it’s a short but amazing book.
So the subject of today’s 365 post is “You’re locked in a room with your greatest fear. Describe what’s in the room”
There are a few answers to this. There are a few things that I am fearful of. Not many of them are physical though.
1. I am afraid of betrayal. My self confidence isn’t too bad at the moment, but in my lower moments one of my biggest fears is that I am not good enough for my partner and they will go somewhere else. I know that this is in no way founded in fact but fears are often irrational.
2. I am terrified of heights. This one comes with a proviso though. As a child I was always climbing trees. I was lucky enough to grow up in Germany where there are lots of forests and I took full advantage of them. I have never felt afraid when up a tree, but put me in a tall building and I imagine I can feel it swaying and I daren’t look out of the window.
3. I am afraid of being found out. This one is 100% a product of depression. I am constantly feeling like I am not good enough to do my job, and people just haven’t realised yet.
This completely irrational fear comes from when I was being bullied in Primary school (So about 7 years old). I was pushed into a ‘phone box which was filled with hundreds of them and the door was held shut. I still had nightmares about it up to being in my mid teens and I still can’t bear to be in a room with one unless I can see it at all times and avoid it.
So there we are, some fears exposed 🙂 I am really liking this 365 days idea, I don’t think there is any way that I would have said what I have without those prompts. I hope you are enjoying them too?