I have had more success on here already than I ever dreamed I would. I have engaged with some really great people, all of whom I had never even heard of 14 days ago. I have been nominated for an award, and nominated others for the same, scarecly believing that I am in the same league as many other recipients. I had hoped to be able to maybe put up one post a week, and was concerned that I would struggle at that, in fact I have been posting pretty much daily, and have a little bank of ideas to explore in the future.
On the other hand, home life has not been great. I have not been the person and partner I want myself to be. My long suffering other half has had a really draining week. Long hours at work, and then compounded by being up with our 5 year old in the night most nights this week (Which is actually really rare nowadays), and I haven’t stepped up to the plate like I should. I know she doesn’t read this, we discussed it and she wanted me to have an outlet that was completely independant from home (see how thoughtful and caring she is?). She has been exhausted, and yes crabby and irritable, but instead of dealing with that and being assertive and helpful I have retreated into myself even more than usual. I’m sorry darling. I left a note on the kitchen top this morning which hopefully will be received well.
Anyway, that’s all background to the real post this morning. Life is Balance.
As I have said before, I am not a religious person, but I am interested in philosophy and that often takes you into religious territory. One thing I have learned is that a great many belief systems include the idea that all of life and existance itself hinges on balance. The eastern systems like buddhism call it yin and yang which crudely translates as male and female. Buddha himself would advocate the ‘middle way’ which is steering clear of extremes and keeping balance in all things in your life. Wiccans worship the earth mother and some aspect of Herne the Hunter for their male/female aspects. I was a practising solitaire witch for a while in my 20’s and one of the things that drew me to Wicca was this concept. Well, that and goth girls 🙂
Wether it be male/female, light/dark or yin/yang , balance is incredibly important in our lives. Without it we become something less than we are capable of. Look at some extreme examples – the religious extremist of the sort we hear about all to often on the news at the moment has lost all sense of balance. They have no love, only hate. They have no light only dark. They have no feminine creativity, only masculine destructiveness. The opposite can also be true, although it is difficult to think of any specific examples. Too much love and light and trust can be just as destructive as there are those elements in the world that would take advantage. Without that seed of darkness in yourself you cannot see the darkness in others and act accordingly. (hmmm not sure that came across right, I hope you understand what I am getting at?)
So returning to the main point of this post, my week, I am trying to maintain a balanced attitude. I am not letting myself slip into despair because I have been a bad partner. I have recognised it, admitted it, and will try and be better today. Nor am I getting carried away with my success online. I am trying not to sit staring at the stats screen waiting for my next ‘hit’ (Does anyone else do that by the way? :p )
I got the picture at the top of this post from The Yoga of Parenting, a blog that I will be spending some time on I think. Parenting is certainly an area that requires balance, but is very difficult to be balanced with.